No One Tells You

What no one tells you about motherhood could fill several encyclopedias.

My tiny human is seven weeks old. This has been the most overwhelming(and incredible) seven weeks of my entire life. It is almost as if time has no meaning any longer…there is simply life. Wakeful nights, slow, dreamy mornings. Milk sticky cheeks, cat naps and endless piles of laundry.

No one tells you how you will barely be able to think about anything but this new human. Everything else in your life fades into white background noise. Nothing will ever be as important as seeing those tiny little cheeks break into a smile, watching the rise and fall of his chest.

No one tells you how terribly empty your arms will feel everytime you put him down and how you almost don’t know what to do with yourself when he sleeps.

No one tells you how much you will love curling up with that warm little body in the middle if the night as you feed him–even while you mourn the loss of sleep.

No one tells you how completely your body will change. I thought my body would feel like mine again after birth…but now that baby is earthside my body feels even less like mine.

None of the books quite prepare you for the many physical changes, the emotional and mental changes. For instance losing my short term memory for a few weeks after birth was not something I expected. I didn’t realize how long it would take for my body to heal after labor. 

I didn’t realize that this baby would need me so exclusively, so intensely. Naively I expected to fall right into my old patterns and practices after birth.

No one told me how much I would love this tiny human. No one told me that becoming a mother would completely reshape my identity.

And even though some days it seems challenging and I really could use more sleep…I look forwards ro learning and discovering new things alongside this little one.

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